Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Pffttt… getting more pudgier! I hate MP/SIP. Too much stress and too much food. Dammit! Time really flies doesn’t it? I had THE conversation with my dad. Yes, that dreaded conversation that I try to dodge every single time.
Dad: Adek graduate biler?
(When are you graduating?)
Me: Next year ah
Dad: Lepas graduate nak buat ape?
(What do you plan to do after graduation?)
Me: *shit!* errmm entah… keje gaknyer… economi tak bagos… tengok uh cam mane
(errmm I don’t know. Work maybe. The economy is bad. We’1l see how)
Why??? Why THAT question? Remember the good ol days where he d nagged bout my grades and I d say sorry and would go to sleep cause it was past my sleep time? I miss those days. And honestly, I m not ready. I m not ready to work full time. I m not ready for the responsibilities. Soon, I hafta get married and have kids and worry bout the bills. I AM SIMPLY NOT READY. Is there a button that can put a pause in life for a sec? I m growing up to fast. It felt like yesterday that I was in secondary 1 and was learning to be normal and make new friends. The reason I wanna keep on studying is because I m not ready to be a working adult. By next year, I’ll be 20, and working in a REAL job. It scares the shit out of me. But what can I do? It’s a circle of life. U hafta work in order to survive.
Yes people, the idealistic and wide-eye Yana is scared. Wish I had a confidante, someone who would just assure me or lie to me that everything is alright. Or just tell me how fun working life is. And when I say that, I really don’t mean treat me like a naïve 13 year old and tell me tall tales on how much money I can make. I KNOW how much money I can make realistically. I just wanna know how I m gonna live through the harsh and cold reality of it.
*sigh*
8:30 AM
