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Wednesday, September 23, 2009

I had an interview earlier. It was great; I could possibly be employed by next week. Another company email me; probably want to set another interview. The same position though. Hopefully it will work out. I 'm really not in the mood to celebrate though. To think it was a day I thought I have accomplish so much just to be overshadowed.

I made the mistake of giving her the wrong SIM card. Now, there is no way for anyone to contact me. One of the company tried to call me but I don't have a mobile phone line. She blames me for giving her the wrong SIM card. You know what, it was my fault. I trusted her to not be foolish enough to trust people so easily and had my line cut off continuously. It is my fault that I use her name to get a phone line. It was my fault that I expected too much for a responsible older sibling. I am tired, tired of having to be frustrated and hoping that one day every single bad memory of her will disappear. I cried for the first time in my life out of frustration. Frustration of hoping and expecting for someone to change. Honestly, I am done with hoping. It will never happen. Not now, not ever. From now on, whatever is thrown at me, I will just stand on my ground and take it as it is. After that, I will pick up the pieces of what damage done to me and move on. When someone slaps you across the face one too many time, it gets numb. That is how I feel right now.

Numb

When I stop expecting, I stop getting hurt.

Till then,

11:48 PM

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Heylo... I know I know it has been ages since I last blog. I have ended school (Good riddance!) which makes me ponder for awhile. I mean the blog was created to reflect my daily struggle in school so now when school ends, what will ever happen to this blog?

Well...

This blog will eventually crease to exist upon receiving my diploma. Yes, it is sad to let go of something that you have spent years in perfecting. We have our ups and downs and fond memories along the way. Let's recap what happen since I first step in school till this very day.

  • Academics

Honestly, I m not the brightest bulb in the socket but hey! I made it through didn't I? This just proves that no matter what your pace is, everyone will reach the finishing line. I remember looking around the lecture theatre and going totally awe. New friends were the only friends we had then. You'd cling onto them for your dear life. We get lost together, eat lunch together and waited for each other to come late for a class. Eventually, everyone starts forming clicks. The exam was hard but the supplementary papers were harder.

  • New found friends

Maths were uber hard but if I hadn't flunk it, I wouldn't have found the most awesomest ( I m starting to pick up Chris's English habits) friends ever! It was the first maths lesson. I forgot my glasses for that day so I had to squint for most of the time. I met Tasha first, she was like next to me and we exchange empty conversation that was before she pounces on me and ask me for my number ahahaha! Not literally of course but it was very blunt! I haven't said anything about it... till now kehkehkeh. Sabrina was in the same class. She thought I was giving her the stink eye but in the matter of fact, I was trying to figure out if she was either Chinese or Malay. I met shahidah waayyy later. I wasn't too fond of her at first but shahidah has the type of personality that kinda grows on you. Hehe after etiquette lesson for 3 years with the girls, shahidah is now a cultured lady with good table manner... on most part. At least now she doesn't look like she is trying to kill a cake. It is drastic improvement really. So many friends come and go but you guys stick it out with me entirely. I m not much of a mushy person but I LOVE YOU GUYS! And you guys are my besties V_V...There I said it... :P


 

  • Chris

We met like a year ago and you taught me so much. You are my best friend and you mean the world to me. We d talk about school and discuss bout the different subject we studied the day earlier. Its different now I guess, since I m no longer in school. I hope your feelings don't change cause mine won't. J

I guess I covered a whole lot of grounds today. But I will be back! This blog will fall to crease the day after graduation. Will I blog? Hmm... I m not sure really.We shall wait and see ;)

12:35 AM


Miss Vainity!